December 2010 The Expat Telegraph published an article I had written called Thoroughly Modern Expats.
For a number of years following I was a regular monthly columist for them.
Reading through the original articles that I submitted recently, I was taken by a) how relevant many of them still are today, and b) I had no online record of them of my own.
So I have added the original submissions to this blog, so if you want to read more of them just search for telegrapharticles, and while you are at it you may want to search for expatarticles as well to see other columns I wrote in the past for various newspapers in Spain.
Sometime ago I was asked to contribute to a book looking at Emotional Resilience and the role it plays in the life of an expat. Interesting one for me this: born in the 60’s, male, only child, from Yorkshire it is fair to say that I am very much from the “just get on with it” school of resilience, and if you wanted emotion the best you would hope for would be “stop yer bellyaching lad and ……. just get on with it”.
Appears though that I may have come from the perfect school for teaching emotional resilience! My research for the contribution identified the following generally recognised definition of emotional resilience: the psychological ability to adapt to the significant challenges, misfortunes and set-backs life throws our way, while maintaining or returning to a positive view of ourselves during and after such turmoil.
Or in other words …….. just get on with it!
I was reminded of this recently during a discussion with fellow expats living in Spain, who were bemoaning the groundhog nature of life these days. Of course expats in Spain come in all shapes and sizes and for many the day to day routines of work and school runs keep them as busy as if they were still in the UK, but for many, the retired in particular, the long days stretch ahead with a certain inevitability.
For many this is worse than originally planned, having retired earlier than your average UK retiree, with plans to earn a little extra doing odd jobs around the fringes of the expat communities, only to find the exodus of expats back to Spain, the falling number of tourists to all but the most popular places in Spain, the increasingly frequent closure of expat businesses (i.e. bars and restaurants), and the general lack of fresh faces means that for many one week is the same as the next, and the next, and the next ……
It is certainly hard to see the need for many an expat to make use of a diary these days that is for sure: the same specials on the same days in the same restaurants, the same karaoke in the same bar with the same people singing the same songs, the same coffee mornings in the same cafe’s; you get the picture. Even when a one off event crops up, for example the Royal Jubilee, inevitably it will be the same bar that celebrated the Royal Wedding, with the same singer, offering the same buffet, to the same group of expats.
All well and good for those that like that type of thing but increasingly the expat lifestyle reminds me of the career of someone that I once interviewed for a job. They went to great lengths to stress that they had 27 years experience with the same, extremely well know, company, but after repeatedly asking them to describe how their job had differed over the years I could only draw the conclusion that they had one years experience, 27 times.
Of course each to their own, and many do enjoy, thrive on and indeed need the security and reassurance of continuity, or is that repetitiveness? I don’t deny that I enjoy the comfort blanket of familiarity as much as the next person, and appreciate the fact that it is an option to get Fish ‘n’ Chips on a Friday, for example, in any place you find expats in Spain, an option I have taken advantage of less than 6 times in 12 years though! These days though it seems that the bars and restaurants expect the expats to attend events every week, making up for the lack of a throughput of fresh faces from tourists, and for many an expat there isn’t anything else to do as more and more bars and restaurants are forced to close: a Catch 22 one might say.
I have previous as far as this is conceded though. Twelve years ago I bought my first Harley Davidson, and like most new owners I happily joined the Harley Owners Group, with each dealership having their own Chapter who organised regular events: third Thursday of the month meet up, regular Sunday morning ride outs, annual charity runs, and trips down to the European rallies amongst the most memorable. The first year was great. I knew nobody that owned a Harley so it introduced me to people that owned then and wanted to ride them (or so I thought). As I am not a natural organiser or committee member having the events organised was ideal for me, and after a thoroughly enjoyable first year I eagerly awaited the calendar of events for the second year (being compulsive I had bought a Life Membership the day I bought the Fat Boy), only to spend hours checking it when it arrived as it was exactly the same as the previous year: same Sunday run venues, same Thursday night meeting place, same annual charity runs. I was far more optimistic in those days so I thought that at least there would be a bunch of new faces to meet, and there were in theory, although to be honest they had all started to look pretty much the same to me by then. But the real problem? Nobody really wanted to ride their Harley! Sure if the weather was perfect, and the run wasn’t longer than 35 miles, and there was a cup of tea half way, and they would be back in time for Sunday Lunch they were all for it. A ride to Scotland and ‘lets see where we end up’? Forget it! I remember getting the calendar for year three, but I don’t recall going to a single event!
I recalled my HOG experience when we embarked on our expat lifestyle and promised myself that we wouldn’t join any club, belong to any ‘circle’, get sucked into any organisational activities. At times it has been tough, people seem to expect that just because you are an expat you will do everything that every expat does, but when the only place in town to be is the Wednesday Bingo & Pie night it takes very little effort in all honesty to stay in with a nice bottle of wine and a movie …… just so long as it isn’t Groundhog Day!
Please feel free to search on Google for the published versions of these columns.